It wouldn't be

I didn't know where anyone was. I could hear a record spinning, so I knew people were still awake.

Or maybe not.

We'd been drinking since noon, and it was about six. That other guy was still scribbling in his notebook.

He was sure that this new song of his would be a hit.

I had something written on my hand.

"It's San Fransisco, 1965. I'm sitting in a town house, stoned. I'm on the far west part of town, the one closest to the bay. I got my bell-bottoms fittin' and the girl next to me is starting to fade away. This guy is sitting on the couch in the front of me as I lay awkwardly on the floor. My friend was in the other room trying to shack up with some girl he'd met the night before. While none of us were exactly 'smooth with the ladies,' I'd like to think that he made us look like pros."

Someone stole my watch.

3742 Star

Lay my body down and open my head.

Inlay within are the answers to the universe.

War, famine, poverty, genocide, 1347, failed institutions, life.

It's all there.

When I was walking, my mouth would not have spewed such.

As it once was, as it is now, and as it will always be; only the dead tell the truth.

No, it's not a typo

On top of the salty sea, I have floated,
for days, letting the current carry me.

My mind has burned out from the sun,
and from my sleepless, salty thoughts.

You are my sunshine, indeed, as you're light in my blood,
at night, when the water is calm and the sky is black.

I think about you, thinking about me;
you wonder I've gone again.

You worry;
you wonder if I had gotten better before...

...I left.
But I did not leave. I was pulled away again by the wavves.

And I realize how I've been able to stay afloat for so long;
It's because I believe in what you say, and I don't want to let you down.

Your words are my waters, and with my mind as my boat,
I shall float upon them.

St.Ann's white line

Those damn bells and whistles keep waking me up.

And the clowns keep honking their noses at me. I've already them three times to leave me alone, but they just squirt water in my face with those fake flowers pinned to their lapels.

I guess I'll get myself something to drink now that I'm awake.

Unfortunately, there are mirrors everywhere. Some make me look really tall, some make me really short and some are wavy and distraught.

Some spots on the floor spin clock and counter-clock wise. I trip and fall, get turned around and then I get dizzy.

The stairs move up and down like a wave. I fell twice trying to get up them.

I get to faucet and get myself a glass of water. Behind me, Toy Caldwell keeps asking me if I can see. See what, Toy? What is it I have to see?

And then I see it. The fire. It's going out.

It was really big for the longest time. Keeping me warm-so very warm. Not anymore.

It wasn't as big as the last fire though, and it didn't go out as quickly. This one has been getting smaller and smaller lately. The last fire went out one night while I was sleeping. I didn't get a chance to keep it going.

I finally managed to make it down the stairs and across the floor unharmed. I guess I'll just have to get used to it.

This night, like many others, I lay down for hours without falling asleep. Maybe it's from the dripping ceiling. It's melting. Or maybe it's from the rain coming in through my broken window. It's always raining here.

This place is so weird-my home, that is.

Time

She told me that time was my enemy.

Well, aren't you supposed to keep your enemies closer?

I keep time very close to me.

I hold time's hand.

I take time out to a nice restaurant.

I make love to time.

Then I ignore time.

I don't answer the phone when time calls.

I don't reply to time's text messages.

I make time want me.

I make time want me so bad.

Now I've got all of the time I need.

Under a tree

I'm under a tree, sitting in the shade with the cool grass beneath me.

It's a little breezy. Every few minutes, the wind will pick up and make waves in the field.

The sun is out and there are no clouds in the sky. Every so often, one of those little cotton ball clouds will float on by.

Also, there isn't any humidity. So even though the sun is out without any clouds, the heat isn't overwhelming.

I can see the trees ahead of me, swaying back and forth as the wind picks up again.

I can also see the birds, ahead in the trees, flying in and out when the branches move around from the wind.

I hate that the man running in the field isn't enjoying this a much as much as I am.

Unfortunately, he's running towards his friend who's lying crossly under a tree-with a gun in his hand.

Hazy Maze

I took a cab back home last night.

When I woke up, I had lipstick on the collar of my shirt. I remember asking the girl why she kissed me there.

"So I can leave my mark, boy."

I didn't care. I was out of it. I spent the next few hours following her around the place like a puppet.

When she left with her friends, she told me not to worry too much about what happened.

It wasn't a fling, I guess. We had only spent last night together.

I had a guy call in a cab where I was. I couldn't use my phone. When the cab got there, I told the driver that I had forgotten where I lived, and that I had enough money the pay what would be the ridiculously expensive fare.

I think he drove around for about an hour before I could tell him where I lived. We were on the other side of town by that point. He was pissed.

Eventually, he understood about half of what I was saying, and decided to drop me off about two blocks from my street. I payed, told him to keep the change, and went off down the road.

I made it to my doorsteps about an hour later. After I had hazily meandered through the street.

I kept knocking on my door. I'd forgotten the key's were with me. My roommate was pissed.

"You know it's four in the morning?"

I had no idea. I smelled of cheap perfume and tequila.

I finally crashed on the floor of my bedroom. I was too weak to even climb onto my bed.

But now, I'm at my desk. Typing this out so that I can remember more of my night, and into my morning.

I feel hazy. I feel like I'm going through this hazy maze trying to figure everything out.

All she left me with was the lipstick on my collar.